Are you lonely too?

I was talking to a friend last night about how crazy it is that I am actually living my dream. I've wanted to do something like Linden Tree for as long as I've known the Lord, and now I am actually getting to do it. It's amazing and yet, something is missing. 

As we wrestled with what that "something" could be, it hit me-- loneliness. 

It's one thing to have my dreams realized and get to live them out. It's another thing to do it alone. So many things have happened this last year that have confirmed in amazing ways God's nearness and provision. Right and left He is answering prayers and doing miracles in my life that only I'm close enough to see. I'm constantly blown away, and yet feel like I'm experiencing the majority of it solo.  

 I think this is amplified in San Francisco. Most people seem to be busy here...very busy (including myself). The transiency is at an all time high-- I've only been here a year and already the majority of my closest friends have moved away. It is difficult and exhausting to get places. Heck, it took me two hours to go to Trader Joe's yesterday for some bananas. JUST BANANAS. But beneath all of this is an underlying sense of loneliness and isolation. Regardless of being in the middle of a 3,000 person church service or alone in my apartment, it's always there. 

And it sucks. Half the time I don't know what to do about it. I'm 99% confident I'm not the only one who feels like this. 

I'm learning to be still in these moments of aching loneliness and let the Lord come in-- instead of panic. I've never been more tempted to mindless distraction than I have been since moving here. And it makes sense that that depth of loneliness would come with a need for distraction. I believe He has something for me even in that place, but I have to be still enough to receive it. There is an invitation in that moment to press into the Lord, and know Him as my truest Friend on a deeper level. I don't want to miss it because I am too busy trying to fill a void with things that don't actually satisfy. Jesus satisfies. I'm learning that over and over and over again. 

You Don't Miss A Thing -Amanda Cook


Not My Own -Will Reagan