Friday, May 27, 2016

The Day I Quit

Today is a big one for me. Closing the door to my role as a pretend mommy (nanny) and opening another to one of my biggest passions-- Linden Tree Outreach. Cue the emotional rollercoaster. 



Of all the 'feels' I've felt these last couple weeks, the strongest ones by far are anticipation and excitement. I know I've said it a hundred times to a hundred people, but I just can't believe I get to be a part of a ministry like Linden Tree. I have never encountered a group of people with such an intentional emphasis on connecting others with the heart of God. What's better in life than knowing and being deeply connected with the loving heart of our Dad? Hmm...NOTHING.

Prayer during this transition period would be greatly appreciated. I'll be traveling this next week then will hit the ground running as soon as I'm back. I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store!

xo

*If you are interested in supporting my work with Linden Tree Outreach, THANK YOU! You can donate one time gifts at Linden Tree GIVE or email lindentreeoutreach@gmail.com for a recurring payment form.  LindenTree Outreach is a recognized 501-C3 Non-Profit Organization in the state of California. Donors will receive a mailed receipt for tax purposes. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Are you lonely too?


I was talking to a friend last night about how crazy it is that I am actually living my dream. I've wanted to do something like Linden Tree for as long as I've known the Lord, and now I am actually getting to do it. It's amazing and yet, something is missing. 

As we wrestled with what that "something" could be, it hit me-- loneliness. 

It's one thing to have my dreams realized and get to live them out. It's another thing to do it alone. So many things have happened this last year that have confirmed in amazing ways God's nearness and provision. Right and left He is answering prayers and doing miracles in my life that only I'm close enough to see. I'm constantly blown away, and yet feel like I'm experiencing the majority of it solo.  

 I think this is amplified in San Francisco. Most people seem to be busy here...very busy (including myself). The transiency is at an all time high-- I've only been here a year and already the majority of my closest friends have moved away. It is difficult and exhausting to get places. Heck, it took me two hours to go to Trader Joe's yesterday for some bananas. JUST BANANAS. But beneath all of this is an underlying sense of loneliness and isolation. Regardless of being in the middle of a 3,000 person church service or alone in my apartment, it's always there. 

And it sucks. Half the time I don't know what to do about it. I'm 99% confident I'm not the only one who feels like this. 

I'm learning to be still in these moments of aching loneliness and let the Lord come in-- instead of panic. I've never been more tempted to mindless distraction than I have been since moving here. And it makes sense that that depth of loneliness would come with a need for distraction. I believe He has something for me even in that place, but I have to be still enough to receive it. There is an invitation in that moment to press into the Lord, and know Him as my truest Friend on a deeper level. I don't want to miss it because I am too busy trying to fill a void with things that don't actually satisfy. Jesus satisfies. I'm learning that over and over and over again. 

You Don't Miss A Thing -Amanda Cook


Not My Own -Will Reagan







Monday, May 2, 2016

The Hot Tamale Man

It doesn't come naturally to want to share my life with the internet. It's difficult to put the things that I care most deeply about out for anyone to judge, reject or praise. It's difficult to communicate exactly what God is doing in me and through me, in mere words. I'm finding I care much too deeply what you all think about me. Will you agree with what I'm doing? Will you reject it? Will you reject me? 

I heard this analogy once about how sharing the gospel should be. It starts with this guy who really LOVES hot tamales. And when I say really LOVES, I mean he loves them so much that he wants to share them with every person he meets. He wants everyone to try his beloved candy. So much so that he is constantly talking about them, passing them out and giving them away...he is CONSUMED with love for hot tamales because he had tasted them, and he wants everyone else to experience the joy and wonderfulness that he himself has experienced. He doesn't care what he sounds like or if people reject him, because he genuinely believes in the goodness of the thing he has to share. 

I want to be like the hot tamale man. I don't want to live in fear of what people think (or don't think) because I have tasted the goodness of Jesus and have been awed at the reality of his very tangible existence. The gospel is too good not share. Jesus is too good not to share. 


"But if I say, 'I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,'  his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." 
Jeremiah 20:9 



*If you are interested in supporting my work with Linden Tree Outreach, THANK YOU! You can donate one time gifts at Linden Tree GIVE or email lindentreeoutreach@gmail.com for a recurring payment form.  LindenTree Outreach is a recognized 501-C3 Non-Profit Organization in the state of California. Donors will receive a mailed receipt for tax purposes.